On the plus side, last week when I decided to start again I was down 12 lbs from when I started this at the end of February last year.
12 lbs is better than nothing right?
Last Sunday when I decided I would start up again I weighed in at 299.2 lbs.
As a family we decided that we werent going to diet. We were going to change our lifestyle.
So here it goes. Not a diet. A lifestyle change.
I know its not going to be easy. I dont expect it to be. To quote myself almost a year ago:
How will this one be different you ask? Because this time I have FAITH on my side. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." That means, I can do this. Its that easy. God wants to give me the desires of my heart. The deepest desire of my heart is to be a mother. Before becoming a mother I want to prepare myself to be a good mother. If I cannot take care of myself the right way, what makes me think I could take care of another life? So here I go! Baby Faircloth, this is for you <3
What made me decide to do this again? A few things actually.
Watching my mother in the hospital only a week ago was awful. I cannot let my family go through the same emotional rollercoaster that we went through. The not knowing. The worry. The simple procedures that should be no big deal at all being multiplied in seriousness because of health issues. I cant do that to my family. Not when I have the choice to change it. I look back to the word that Dennis Cramer gave me about 2 years ago at Friendship. Unfortunately I dont have it in its entirety BUT he told me that I would not have the same health issues that are in my family. That God does not want that for me. Its wonderful knowing that but at the same time he give us free will. I have to do my part to ensure I carry out his will. He doesnt want this for me. Pastor Troy put up 2 statuses a couple weeks ago on facebook that really made me think. They this word back in the fore front of my mind. He wrote "Thinking on the promises God has yet to fulfill in your life is the greatest antidote to fear because He is standing behind His word to ensure it comes to pass." and "Most of your prayers have already been answered; the challenge is recognizing that the answer came in the form of a seed and now needs your attention.". Its time to hold myself accountable.
I want a baby more than anything in the world. Anything. I cannot wait to be a mom. I have friends that are having babies 2 and 3. At this rate their children will be old enough to babysit mine. Earlier this week I thought I was pregnant. I had never been so excited in my life. I was 5 days late. Typically I can pinpoint to the hour when my cycle should start. 5 days late has never happened. I was completely disappointed when that was not the case. It made me re think how we are living our lives and how awful a mother I would be if I didnt do this first.
So where do I stand a week later? down 2 lbs. 297.2lbs. My goal weight is 199lbs but my real goal is to be healthy and live the life God has destined for me.
If you read this blog, even once, I ask you to help me by holding me accountable. By giving me words of encouragement. By reminding me why I am doing this if I slip up. They say it takes a village to raise a child right? Why not have that village help that child even before he/she is born? Thank you all in advance.
Until next Saturday....
Stacey
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